you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize
