How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
