you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
high people should be assigned attendants
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
