Me too!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
