you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
