I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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