Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
