I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
