the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
