I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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