i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
