Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
