ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
