I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
