plz talk dirty to me
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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