I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
