And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
