I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
