Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
