More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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