The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
