Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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