I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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