she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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