why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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