dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
