She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
