it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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