I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
