I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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