We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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