The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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