This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
