Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
