He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
