The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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