drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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