Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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