woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
