Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
