I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
