We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
