TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm just crazy horny about you
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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