Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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