I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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