apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
