I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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