Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
