Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
