Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
