After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
