I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
